Mornings

Most mornings I wake up, check Facebook, play a couple games of Bubble Witch, and I'm ready to get up and face the day. Today, I woke up at 5:00. I checked Facebook, ran out of lives on Bubble Witch, tried and failed to go back to sleep, checked Facebook again, played another game of Bubble Witch, tried and failed again to go back to sleep, checked Twitter, checked Timehop...and so on. Now it's almost 8:00 and I am still not ready to get out of bed and face the day.

That's the trouble with grief. There's no road map or early warning system. There's no red flag saying, "Warning...today will be tough." There's no siren that signals an impending hard day. It just appears, seemingly at random. 

To be fair, we're still at the point where most days are tough. But then why am I able to get myself out of bed most days, but today I don't even want to move? Nothing feels different today. There isn't something I have to do that I'm dreading. Today seems about the same as yesterday, and tomorrow. I don't know if a road map would make it easier, but it would be helpful to know what to expect... For the time being, I'll try to get myself out of bed and on with the day...