Update

We've been pretty quiet on here lately...not for any specific reason.  Well, except the reason that I never seem to know quite what to write about!!  But today I do have a little something on my mind, so I thought maybe it was time to check in.

We had a doctor's appointment this morning, and everything looked GREAT!  Grant is growing well - he's in the 81st percentile! - and (sorry for the TMI) my cervix looks great!  So that means that it is doing the job of keeping Grant in place.  I also have not been experiencing contractions or any other concerning symptoms.  As the doctor said this morning, right now there's nothing more to do at this point than treat this as a "normal pregnancy."  Yup, that's right...normal.  That's not a word I usually associate with myself, much less my pregnancies!  But I'll take it.  And I'll appreciate the heck out of this "normal" pregnancy for as long as it lasts.  I appreciate being at work (as much as I grumble every morning about having to go), I appreciate being able to go to the store when I need to, I appreciate being able to nest here and there.  I also, of course, appreciate being able to veg on the couch, and snuggle the puppies, but I appreciate that I am able to do more.

It's almost surreal, how well everything has gone so far (KNOCK ON WOOD.)  And despite our history, I haven't found myself worrying nearly as much as I would have thought.  Sure, I have moments when I feel something (or don't feel something) that I start to panic a little.  But it never lasts long, and Grant's usually pretty good about moving around and letting me know he's doing okay.  Overall, though, I just don't have that overwhelming sense of anxiety that I did with Henry.  I'm not sure what the reason is, but I like to believe it has to do with some special angels watching over us...

We've still got some time to go (we are nearing 24 weeks), but with every passing day...and week...I am just enjoying the journey.  We already love this little guy to the moon and back, and we know many others do as well.  Here's to hoping the next several months go as smoothly as the last several have!!

Holidays

This is the first year in several that I have truly been in the Christmas spirit. We decorated the house, baked Christmas cookies, listened to Christmas music, watched Christmas movies, and did our Christmas shopping. We hosted family and attended traditional holiday events with family and friends. 

Our Christmases over the past few years have been different. The first year we were married was the same year we lost Brady and my mom, and I was put on bedrest just before the holidays. I grudgingly put up a few decorations and reluctantly participated in festivities that were brought to me (since I couldn't leave.) The next year, after losing Henry just before Thanksgiving, I turned Grinch and completely boycotted the holidays. Last year, I participated minimally and selectively, skipping many events and traditions.

Although it's nice to feel a return of the Christmas spirit, I still have a bit of emptiness in my heart. Instead of watching my kids experience the joys of Christmas and open presents, I visited them at the cemetery. Instead of baking cookies with my mom, and asking her advice on holiday decor, I do my best on my own. 

But despite these missing pieces, I am grateful for much this holiday season. My heart warms each time I feel Grant kick and move around. I am thankful for our home, which is comfortable enough to host family throughout the holidays. I have a husband who spoils me rotten not just at Christmas but all year long. I have four dogs who want nothing more than to love and be loved (well, and meals and treats on schedule.) I have family and friends who have and continue to let me to do holidays the way I need to at any given time...and who haven't given up on inviting and including me regardless of how many times I say no. And, of course, I have the most precious angels watching over me every day.

This holiday season, I hope everyone reading this has something that warms their heart...something to be grateful for. And if you're missing someone, I hope memories bring comfort more than pain. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!