I have spent a good chunk of the last couple days making a photo book of Henry's life. I never expected that my son's baby book would include not only his birth but also his death. I couldn't use most of the embellishments available on Shutterfly...things like first steps, first birthday...those are things Henry will never have. And all of the "life story" photo books are of course geared toward older adults, who have lived a full life. The baby photo books didn't include embellishments for first hospital visit, first IV, or have a space for date of passing.
However, Henry's photo book did include sayings such as "baby boy," "little man," "best buddies," and "we love you." Even better, of the 47 pages in Henry's book (thank goodness Shutterfly ALWAYS has some sort of discount!), only 6 pages chronicle his hospital stay and passing. If you're a numbers person, that means that 88% of Henry's book showcases his LIFE. It shows how much Henry was loved, and how much he was able to do in his short 7 months. 88% of his book shows a perfect baby boy. The other 12% shows a baby boy who is a fighter...a baby boy who made even his nurses fall in love with him. It shows that even in his battle and his death he still touched people.
It was hard to make this book. I had to take a few deep breaths as I got to the last 6 pages. But then, as I looked through the finished project, I felt a sense of pride. This pride was not for the book I created, but for the legacy that Henry created. It made me proud, once again, that I got the honor of being Henry's mama.
Tim and I talked yesterday about our blog and Facebook posts, and how therapeutic these are for both of us. We also talked about how we want to use these outlets to share not only our grief and our journey, but our happy memories of Henry. I think as time passes, we will be able to do more of that. But for now, this book has accomplished a little of that - sharing some of our favorite photos and memories of our little monster. You can (hopefully) use the link below to view Henry's book if you so choose - enjoy!
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbOG7Ns0cs2EY
As always... You are a true writer with beautiful words about your adorable son, Henry! I love the Shutterfly book! You are so talented, Erin! Prayers & hugs always!
ReplyDelete