I've been having a rough few days (again), so I've done some reflecting on grief. I made a list of what, to me, grief is and is not. This is my list...I am not a professional grief counselor or mental health expert...I am just a grieving mother, grieving daughter, grieving woman. With that disclaimer, here is my list.
Grief is not...
...simple or easy.
...quick.
...something to "get over."
...the same for any two people...even two people suffering the same grief event.
...a series of steps to get through, so that you can be all better.
...a journey anyone can take for you.
...a disorder or a sign of weakness.
Grief is...
...waking up every morning feeling lost.
...not having interest in doing anything...feeling completely restless and unmotivated.
...never feeling hungry...having to force yourself to eat because it's good for you (or eating all the time, trying to eat away the sorrow).
...sleeping all the time and still feeling exhausted (or not sleeping much at all.)
...trying to be patient with yourself as you slowly heal...all the while just wanting to feel like yourself again.
...seeing the pain in your spouse's/families'/friends' eyes, and knowing there's absolutely nothing you can do to ease the pain.
...exhausting, all-consuming, and relentless.
...unpredictable...a roller coaster...and you never know what bend, drop, or loop will come next.
...having a hard time thinking about the future.
...lonely.
...painful...physically, mentally, and emotionally painful.
...messy.
...hard work.
...learning to live again.
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