Emotions

Today has been a bit of an emotional day. Murphy woke me up around 4:00...something exciting was outside (probably a leaf blew by...) so he was barking in the living room. I ignored him until he stood at the end of the bed whining to get up. Then once he got settled I couldn't go back to sleep for awhile. And once I did, I had a dream that really disturbed me. Henry was in it, alive and at the hospital, but not hooked up to any machines. I got to hold him and snuggle him, but then while the doctors were tending to another baby who had died, Henry died in my arms. And on top of that, Tim wasn't talking to me for some reason. The dream shook me up...I knew it was just a dream, but the range of emotions had me on edge by the time I woke up.

The rest of the day was better, but I still felt pretty emotional. I did some retail therapy, and had success finding a couple pairs of pants that fit. However, the shopping experience wasn't quite the same as usual...more going through the motions. Tim and I met the sweet new baby boy of a coworker, and I enjoyed some newborn snuggles (how quickly I forget how tiny newborns are!) Yet throughout the day, I continued to feel drained and emotionally on edge. I'm hoping that a good night's sleep (I'm already in bed as I write this) will help...that I'll wake up at least a bit refreshed...not quite as on edge.