Exhaustion

I think I've finally figured out why I'm so exhausted all the time. I sleep plenty...I go to bed early, and often take naps after work. Yet every morning I wake up feeling as though I hardly slept at all. And I think I'm so exhausted because it takes most of my energy to put on a front...not to pretend that I'm fine (because I'm definitely not) but to pretend that I'm present. To have conversations with people, to go to work and do my job, get groceries, even to eat a meal. All of this is pretending...going through the motions. What I really want to do is hide out in my house (preferably in my bed) and not talk to anyone, except my husband. So every day that I make the choice to get out of bed and venture out into the world is exhausting.

With that said, I am glad I have reasons to get out of the house.  I'm glad that I have a job that I (mostly) enjoy, and that I work with wonderful and supportive people.  I've had more than one person tell me that if I need to step out for a moment, that they will gladly cover my class.  I'm glad that I have friends that check up on me and make sure I do get out of the house every now and then.  I'm glad that I have a husband who encourages me to do things...like go out for a drink after work or get together with my friends.  And then, at the end of the day, I'm glad that I can crawl in bed, snuggle with the puppies, and be proud of the fact that I made it through another day.