Dreams

Dreams are crazy things, and it's been on my mind lately. The other night I dreamed Henry was still alive. The dream wasn't anything wild or crazy.  Basically, I dreamed that he was still with us, and I was going about my day taking care of him.  I got him up, got him dressed, fed him, played with him, put him down for naps, gave him a bath...all of that exciting day-to-day infant stuff.  When I woke up, it took me a couple minutes to realize that it had been just a dream.  A lot of nights I must have sad dreams. I don't remember them, but I wake up with red, puffy eyes as though I'd been crying. Then there are the other kind of dreams...the hopes and dreams you have for your life. Like when we found out we were pregnant with Henry, and we hoped he'd be born healthy, and that our dream of becoming parents to a living child would come true. And, of course, this dream became a wonderful reality, if even for a short time.

Now I have slightly different hopes and dreams. I dream that my children are playing together, and getting into trouble as only brothers can do. I dream that Nana is watching them and smiling, happy to be with her grandsons. I dream that they're playing with other angel baby friends, and that they welcome new friends with open arms and invitations to play. 

I hope that one day we will have more children, and that we will share stories of their angel brothers. I hope that once again we can watch the joy on Grandma's and Grandpa's faces as they see their grandchildren, snuggle them, and play with them. I hope that one day we will worry about our children as we send them off to school, see them into the turbulent teenage years, and watch them become adults. And I hope that through all of this, Brady and Henry continue to be an important and loved part of our family.