Did you think I forgot you? Here your brother and sister got letters, and you are probably wondering where your letter was! Don't worry, I didn't forget you...I couldn't and wouldn't ever forget you! You are the boy that made me a mom. You are the one that first showed me the joys of being pregnant (and you had to work at that a little), and the strength of the unconditional love between a mother and her son.
I was pretty surprised when we found out you were on your way. You see, we weren't married quite yet (gasp!) And I was still just immature enough to worry about what people would think. Never mind that I was an adult, working in a career which would support a family, your dad and I were engaged already...but for some reason I worried that people would judge us for being pregnant with you and not technically being married. Looking back, it all seems so silly! Once I got that notion out of my head, I was head over heels excited to be expecting you. It's true, I grumbled as my pants got snug, and I got cranky when I couldn't have a green beer on St. Patty's Day, but you were the one that taught me that those aren't the things that really matter. You showed me that the little things matter so much more.
I remember so clearly the first time I felt you move - I was on my way to Lincoln to get my haircut and I felt these bubbles in my stomach. It took a couple minutes before I realized that they weren't bubbles, but your little hands and feet moving around! And my favorite moments with you (while pregnant) were when I had to watch the door at school. (This was before we had fancy buttons to let people in the locked doors!) I would sit there for a half hour every morning, and that was our time. That was your time to play, and let me know you were safe and happy.
And when we found out you were coming, way too early, we were devastated. I wasn't sure I wanted to see you, or hold you, or touch you. I thought that might be too hard...or too weird. Again, you taught me not to worry about anyone else. As soon as the nurse placed you in my arms, I never wanted to let you go. You were perfect...perfect little nose, perfect baby hands and toes...even the start of a red mohawk on the top of your head. And although I held your perfect tiny body in my arms, I knew that you, my baby boy, were already in a better place.
Thank you, Brady, for teaching me what it really means to be a mom, and for showing me that not all moms hold their babies in their arms. Thank you for living in my heart, and for watching over those of us still here on earth. Thank you for welcoming your baby brother, Nana, and now your little sister. Thank you for watching over them until we can join you. We love you forever, and you will always be our perfect firstborn.
Love always and forever,
Mama and Daddy
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