The hardest part...

I read something recently that said the hardest part of motherhood is when your kids grow up. And in my head I immediately disputed this. I thought perhaps that's the hardest part for most mothers...but that definitely hasn't been the case for me. 

And then I got to thinking...what IS the hardest part of motherhood? It's a hard judgement for me to make, seeing as my motherhood hasn't lasted all that long. Was it the nine months of pregnancy? Growing uncomfortable, giving up things like a tasty summer beer or a favorite coffee drink? Was it giving birth? Was it the complete and utter exhaustion of caring for a newborn? Was it having to watch him get his first set of shots? Was it dropping him off at daycare? Or, perhaps, was it watching him grow up?

Now you're probably thinking that, for me, the worst part of motherhood is watching my child die. But I actually don't think that's true. (Don't get me wrong, that was right up there among the worst moments of my life.) I think the worst part of motherhood, and parenthood (in my limited experience) is watching your child suffer and not being able to do anything to make it better. Hearing Henry cough and sniffle, watching him struggle to breathe, seeing him bloated and intubated, watching him go through dialysis day after day...that was the toughest part. Because all I could do was hold his hand...be with him...but I couldn't take away any of the pain. Now most parents hopefully will never see their child suffer quite like that. But what about that broken bone? Or their first heartbreak? Getting picked on at school? Anything that hurts our child hurts us too. 

So for me, watching my child (someday, hopefully, God-willing) grow up will not be the worst part of motherhood at all. That, in fact, will probably be one of the best parts. It's those parts that I can't protect them from that I worry about. But growing up...that's something to be enjoyed and celebrated.