Henry

I've been flooded with sad memories lately...Henry sedated, intubated, and paralyzed...getting dialysis...a hospital room filled with machines...it's getting a bit overwhelming. That's not how I want to remember our monster. So I've been trying to remember better memories. And then I figured I shouldn't keep that joy just to myself...

I remember spending that summer with Henry. As he got a little older, he enjoyed sitting in his MamaRoo. I had it angled out toward the living room, but he always twisted himself around so he could see the TV. I worried a bit...as I was catching up on Game of Thrones that summer. I told Tim often that if Henry grew up to behead people or sleep with his siblings it would be my fault...

I remember we were so excited when we got his Exersaucer that we had to use multiple blankets and pillows to prop him up, and even on the lowest settings he couldn't touch the bottom. But he smiled as he explored the toys on it, and as Sebastian sniffed around curiously.

I remember flying home from Florida, proud of our "skill" in traveling with an infant...and all the gear that goes with an infant. I remember getting settled for the flight, and then just as we were taxiing for take-off Henry blew out his diaper. Rockstar mom that I am, I managed to change his diaper on my lap in the airplane seat.

I remember hanging out in our bedroom after work one day and Tim was folding Henry in half...folding his legs up by his head. And I remember Henry giggling, which led to some giggles for Tim and me too!

I remember how excited we were to start foods with Henry...and how unimpressed he was with rice cereal...bananas...apples. And then how much he loved sweet potatoes...so much that he grabbed the spoon from Tim's hand and took care of feeding himself.

I remember taking Henry shopping...and whether it was Wal-Mart, Target, or the mall, he was just happy to be out.  He loved the lights in Wal-Mart and Target, and at the mall he loved watching people and listening to what was going on.

These memories don't erase the hard ones, and they shouldn't. Those hospital memories are part of Henry's life, after all. But I much prefer remembering Henry with a smile on his face rather than with tubes running into and out of all parts of his body.  He was such a sweet little boy...happy to be alive...and that's how we remember him.