Hangovers

I've written about hangovers before, and how grief feels so much like an emotional hangover.  Today, I feel very emotionally hungover.  Somehow, the days leading up to and following major anniversaries and birthdays seem so much worse than the actual day itself.  It's as though our bodies and minds know that a specific day is going to be tough, so we can prepare ourselves, but we forget to prepare ourselves for the aftermath.


Now, as I enter the aftermath, I find myself a bit of a mess.  I've cried more today than I did yesterday...I feel more lost today than yesterday...I feel a bit deeper in that deep dark hole today than yesterday.  As is the case with grief, you never can tell how you will feel one day to the next.  Tim and I thankfully took today off, but I am a bit anxious as I plan to return to work tomorrow.  I just have to remember, I've made that return a few times now...and I have survived each time.  Plus, this time I only have to make it through a day and a half and then it's another long weekend.

Even in the midst of my messy emotions, I am so thankful to everyone who has been thinking of us.  We were showered with love on Facebook and through messages yesterday and even today.  Our house is bright with several flower arrangements, several with a theme of orange.  We've gotten cards in the mail, and emails of support.  And even today we had a special delivery of orange flowers and a favorite adult beverage.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again...it's the love and support surrounding us that gets us out of bed in the morning.  Thank you for following our story through this first year, for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers...and as we enter year two, as long as we have even one person reading, we'll keep sharing.