Frame of mind

I started a post...a post that was very negative, about how I'm feeling cheated out of raising my boys. And although there was nothing untrue about that post, I wasn't feeling good about writing it. I am free to feel my emotions, and I did allow myself this anger and frustration over the weekend. And I will continue to feel all the feelings. But as I was looking at pictures to share, I came across these. And I realized that no matter how angry or cheated I may feel, none of the negative feelings even come close to the love and joy I feel as I see these pictures.

Henry brought love and joy to me, and to all that met him. His sweet face and smile could brighten the darkest day, and continues to do so even in his absence! As I said yesterday at the brick dedication...Henry was just as happy when he was swimming in the ocean as he was riding in a cart at Wal Mart. He saw the good in the world, he felt the love we all had for him, and he was happy. And his happiness changed me. His happiness made me a happier, more positive person even through my immense sadness and grief.

So that is why I changed my post. Not because I think I should always be happy, and not because I won't allow myself to be angry. Today, I changed my post because Henry's smile changed my heart...I changed my post because today it feels more right to honor Henry's legacy of love and laughter...I changed my post because I want Henry to see that he still can make me smile.