Flashbacks

I have a feeling that the season of flashbacks are upon me. This morning, this picture and others of Henry not feeling well showed up from a year ago. According to the doctors, he would not have been sick with leukemia yet...he only had that for 2-4 weeks before he was diagnosed. So chances are this was one of those little bugs Henry caught at daycare, or one that I brought home from school. If I remember, it only lasted a day or so and he was back to his happy self. But this was our first time with a sick baby.

More of these memories will follow. It took a couple of months of these stubborn cold-like symptoms that finally brought us to the hospital. And even a cold is bad enough...no one likes to see their baby not feeling well! We were so lucky that Henry was generally healthy until near the end. And even when sick he would still smile, and snuggle of course. In fact, it was his missing smile that was one of the clues that something was really wrong.

As I enter these months leading up to Henry's "angelversary," I will face the flashbacks, but I will also remember the happy memories...the smiles and giggles, the hugs and snuggles. For although Henry died due to his cancer, his cancer was not who he was. And I will always remember Henry as the happy baby that brought love and joy to our lives.