Holidays

The 4th of July has never exactly been my favorite holiday.  One of my phobias is fire, so you can imagine that fireworks aren't exactly something I love.  (I love them from a distance...setting them off on my own is a different story!)  I don't really like loud noises and big booms.  I can remember hiding under my mom's lawn chair as we watched people set off fireworks in the street.  And I've always felt like I'm supposed to do something big...have some sort of big celebration...and that pressure I put on myself is a bit stressful!

Since meeting Tim, the 4th of July has been a bit more bearable.  Tim loves fire, big booms and loud noises.  Seeing the joy on his face as he lights off fireworks makes my holiday more enjoyable.  Plus I have someone to spend the holiday with, and I feel like that's enough whether we do something or not.  And, of course, last year, we had our own perfect little "firecracker."  Just like everything else, Henry loved the 4th of July.  He loved that he got to hang out with Mommy and Daddy, Grandma, and aunts and uncles.  He loved doing the Ralston fun run/walk with us.  He had it easy, riding along in the stroller as we huffed and puffed up the huge neighborhood hills!  And he liked watching the fireworks around the neighborhood - the noise didn't bother him a bit.  (He was asleep well before the big show, so Tim and I watched what we could see from our backyard.)

This year, of course, the 4th of July is different once again.  We don't have to worry that the neighborhood fireworks will keep a baby awake.  Instead, we worry about our already anxious dog, and how the noise will affect him.  (As I write this, that anxious dog is burrowed under a blanket on my lap.)  I miss having Henry around.  It's not always a holiday that brings back stronger memories, but today that is the case.  This 4th of July, there's a big piece missing from our holiday...I miss that little firecracker <3