The Business of Death

The death of a loved one is a traumatic, emotional event.  And the emotional aftermath lasts weeks, months, and years.  Unfortunately, death is also a business event.  And apparently, the business aftermath can last weeks, months, and years.

As a loved one is sick or dying, there is business to take care of...time off...medical care...insurance coverage questions...when is it time to stop medical intervention.  Shortly after a loved one dies, there is more business to take care of...funeral plans, burial decisions, obituary wording.  And in the weeks and months that follow, there is the business of paying for all of this...the medical care, the funeral expenses, possibly dealing with life insurance claims and health insurance questions.  And even more than a year later, a bill can unexpectedly show up in your mailbox, for care your loved one received over THIRTEEN months ago.

Unfortunately, hospitals and insurance companies are businesses...they deal with money, not with emotion.  Now, that's not to say that the hospital staff are entirely removed from the emotion of death...the nurses and doctors and staff on the floor are just as human as we are.  But once you get into the business of hospital, it's just that...business.  And so from the business side, I shouldn't be surprised by a bill over a year after Henry's death.

But I'm not a business...I'm an emotional human...a still-grieving mother...and that bill is just another reminder of all the horrors my baby endured.  I understand that the hospital did not send us this bill as the kick in the gut it felt like, and I know there were hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of medical care to sort out between the hospital and insurance company.  I understand the business side of death and dying.  But that doesn't protect my emotional side from the impact.