New Year's

New Year's has never been one of my favorite holidays.  For one thing, there seems to be an expectation to do something crazy and wild to bring in the new year.  As a child, this meant sleepovers at home with friends, and as I got older it usually meant I should be out drinking and partying.  Usually, however, I ended up at home, in my pajamas, and often asleep before midnight even hit.  For another thing, the start of a new year seems the perfect opportunity to lament over everything you DIDN'T do in the year that is now ending.  I didn't keep to that diet I started, my exercise program lasted just a few weeks, I didn't read as many books as I planned...and so on and so forth.  Also, New Year's is a reminder that the holiday season is over, and that the long stretch of school (as a kid or now as a teacher) is upon us.  For these reasons, I've never been a big fan of New Year's, and most years I even dreaded New Year's Eve and Day.


This year something feels different.  I'm not dreading this holiday.  Perhaps it's because I have a husband who is more than happy to stay in and watch news bloopers on YouTube while snuggling with the puppies.  Maybe it's because I can look back and see how much I've grown and changed over the past year.  Possibly it's because I feel that good things are coming for us in 2016.  Maybe because I now can see that a new year is not necessarily for starting over, but it is for continuing what you have started.


In 2015, my goal was to become more positive and grateful.  I don't mean to brag, but I feel that I have very successfully met this goal.  Since January 1, I have kept a gratitude journal in which every day I list one thing I am grateful for.  Some days it was harder than others to find something to record, but every day I found something.  I plan to continue this in 2016.  I had other goals that I did not meet quite so successfully...I wanted to read every day.  For a librarian, I read very little.  But instead of getting down on myself for not doing this, I will make a new and better effort to do so in 2016.  Other goals are a bit more out of my control...making and growing a baby, for example.  But what I learned in 2015 is that I have purpose outside of being a mother.  I can be happy with what I DO have, while continuing to hope for more children.


To celebrate all that 2015 brought us, I created a highlight video.  As I did this, I realized how much we did this year!  From my trips to California and Virginia, to our Cure Search walk and blood drive and childhood cancer awareness events, to time with family and friends, 2015 was a pretty darn good year.  Sure, we continue to struggle with our grief, but in spite of that we managed to live our lives and even enjoy it.  It's nice to go into a new year with a positive attitude and a good feeling.  That is what I wish for all of you as well.  Don't dwell on what you didn't do or what didn't happen, but look at the good that did come your way.  And I hope everyone goes into a happy and successful 2016.