Easter

I had a beautiful post written about Easter, and how much God must love us to have willingly sent His Son to die for our sins. And I do believe that. But I woke up feeling much less positive and hopeful. I woke up feeling anxious, sick, angry, and most of all sad. Last Easter was Henry's first. His whole family gathered to celebrate his first holiday. Now, Henry was all of six days old, so he wasn't all that excited. But his family sure was. Henry was here, healthy and breathtakingly perfect. We finally felt like we could dream about his future...picture what he'd be like as he got older. We pictured taking him to meet the Easter Bunny, and the mischief he'd be getting into when he was almost one. All of us took turns snuggling this little bundle while we dreamed about his future.

So this Easter is hard. It's a first...our first Easter without Henry. And it's harder because we did get an Easter with Henry. Today, instead of celebrating such a beautiful day, I'm curled up in bed, just trying to talk myself into getting up. Once I get going I know the day will be better. But it's definitely a day when I can feel that something big is missing.