I often find myself contemplating (as many do, I'm sure) what it's like in Heaven. It has become a more poignant contemplation, though, since losing my boys. Oddly enough, even through our losses, I have never found myself angry with God. Rather, it brings me comfort to think of my boys romping in Heaven...healthy and happy...playing together. It brings me comfort to picture my mom watching over them...loving on them...taking care of them. It brings me comfort to think that I will see all of my loved ones again someday, that I will get to hug my boys and love on them myself.
Of course, if I could choose, I would have my boys here with me. But then again, that's selfish. That would mean Brady would probably be facing some major developmental delays, if not worse, after being born so prematurely. It would mean Henry would have finished his first rounds of chemo treatment, possibly faced a bone marrow transplant or other harsh treatments. He also would probably have some delays in his development, having spent a good portion of his first couple years of life in the hospital hooked up to machines. And that's assuming his body recovered from the initial trauma and damage from the leukemia.
Instead, I have two of the most perfect angels watching out for me. I know that Brady and Henry are together. I know that when other babies head to Heaven (way too soon for those of us on earth) our two boys are waiting for them with open arms...and possibly a flash mob or dance party as well (they are Tim's sons, after all!) And I know that when my day comes, hopefully not for a good long while, those two little sweethearts will be waiting for me, too.
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