At 30 years old, I often found myself wondering if (and assuming that) I would end up a crazy cat lady. (Keep in mind, I didn't really like cats at that point.) I was single, and had been for several years. I'd tried online dating, which never quite panned out. I'd had a couple of short relationships, but nothing too promising. I'd somewhat resigned myself to the fact that I would always be single. And then my thin client server went down...and it was Tim to the rescue. And the rest is history!
I honestly could not have found a better man for myself. He lets me be me...I don't have to put on any airs, I don't have to make myself up, I don't even have to hide the crazy. He loves me for me. Tim has stuck by me when anyone else (myself included!) would have gone running. When I was pregnant, and he didn't scrape my windows just right (even though he, on his own, went down in the freezing cold and started my car AND scraped all the windows), he took the verbal abuse, and even gave me a hug before I headed off to work. (I know, I know...there really ISN'T a wrong way to scrape windows. But try telling that to depressed, hormonal me...) Tim has a way of making me feel better...it's nothing magical, but hearing him say we'll figure it out or we'll be okay is soothing. Probably because I know we will - we have before. And he makes me laugh...true, legitimate laughs. Even in the depths of grief, he can bring a smile to my face. On the way out the door today, we both said I love you...followed by some childish name-calling. I finally said I love you enough not to call you a name. Which he followed with I love you enough to take back everything I said. It's so silly, but after a rather sleepless night, it made me laugh. I love that Tim is really just a grown-up child. I love his enthusiasm, and his strong work ethic, his value of family, his sense of humor, and his never-give-up attitude. I love how much he loves his boys...his dogs...even me.
In past relationships, there has always been a point (or several points) where I missed that initial silly in love feeling. I missed those butterflies that come with a new relationship. With Tim, I still have those butterflies. I still feel silly in love. But I also feel comfortable, and loved. There is no "I wonder if there's something better," because now I know that there isn't. I've got the best there is...the best for me.
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