Don't Blink

I've spent some time flipping through photos of Henry on my phone tonight...especially photos of when Henry was just born...photos from the hospital and the very early days at home.  These pictures simultaneously warm and fill my heart with love and reveal the gaping hole left by my boys.  Although people say the pain of childbirth is forgotten once the child is here, I've found that it's the exhaustion of the newborn days that has been buried in my memories.  Those newborn days...when even a ten minute trip to Target requires hours of pre-planning.  You have to make sure baby is fed, changed, and not in desperate need of an immediate nap.  And then you have to make sure you have a bag loaded with bottles, diapers, blankets, burp cloths, and anything else this tiny being may possibly need during your fifteen-minute absence from the house.  Besides trips outside of the house, there is also the exhaustion of near constant feeds, and when you're not feeding or changing a diaper, you're frantically trying to keep bottles washed and ready for the next time the little one decides he's hungry RIGHT NOW.  And, of course, let's not forget the newborn sleep schedule...spend time napping all day so that he can party all night.

These pictures also brought two words to mind...two words shared by a friend going through her own unique grieving process.  These two words that I read in her post, and that spoke to me were "don't blink."  In her case, she is cherishing every precious moment with her daughter, and sharing the lessons from her daughter with the world.  (Thank you, April, for the inspiration!)  Don't blink...soon your baby will be here and those flutters and kicks will no longer be there.  Don't blink...your baby that is up crying all night will soon be a toddler, then a child and finally an adult who will no longer need soothing in the middle of the night.  Don't blink...that toddler that wants you to read the SAME book just ONE more time before bed will soon put himself to bed and read his own books.  Don't blink...that sometimes obnoxious pre-teen girl in your house will soon be all grown up and out on her own, leaving your house feeling quite and somewhat empty.  I take comfort in the fact that I didn't blink with Henry.  Sure, constantly feeding and washing bottles took up a good chunk of time, but it meant my baby was healthy and growing.  Yes, those trips to Target were much more complicated than running on my own, but it gave me time with Henry (and someone to talk to while I shopped.)  Yes, the all-night parties were utterly exhausting, but it meant my baby was HERE, and HEALTHY, and I thanked God for that every night. 

And this doesn't apply just to our children...don't blink, because you will never have this day, this moment again.  Once this moment passes, it becomes a memory.  Take time to enjoy the little things.  Put your phones away at dinner (I admit, I am guilty of this!)  Take a minute to appreciate the beauty surrounding you (yes, even in January...that long, cold, dark, Christmas-hangover of a month.)  Tell your spouse, your parents, your children that you love them.  Give hugs freely.  Smile often.  Read a good book.  Listen to a favorite song.  Do whatever it takes to enjoy at least a moment, and to enjoy what you have.  Don't blink.