Missing...

Today, the ever faithful Timehop reminded me that two years ago we reached 28 weeks.  It took a medical procedure, weekly shots, weeks of bedrest (with months to come) and even an overnight hospitalization (for what turned out to be dehydration-fueled contractions).  I remember Dr. Barsoom telling us each week how important it was to try to make it to 28 weeks.  Sure, 24 weeks is the NICU cut-off, but by 28 weeks preemies are much more likely to survive without major long-term issues.  We were so excited to reach this milestone, as were all of our family and friends that were hoping and praying right along with us.  We not only reached this milestone, but we made it almost 20 more weeks, and Henry was born full-term and healthy.

This reminder made me reminiscent, and made me think of things I never thought I would miss, but that I do.  I miss those weekly visits to the doctor.  Yeah, the shot wasn't the most fun, but it didn't bother me too much, and we ALWAYS got to see what Henry was up to.  Every week, we got reassurance that he was growing and thriving, and staying put.  I miss bed rest.  It drove me absolutely crazy, being stuck on the couch while the house got prepared around me, while things got shopped for without me.  I never understood how people could WISH to be on bed rest.  But now, in the middle of the school year, busy and stressed, I can appreciate the relaxation of bed rest.  Plus, it gave me extra time to appreciate everything about Henry...every movement and every sensation.  And I never had to worry about whether it was my turn to do the dishes...or make dinner...or anything!  I miss struggling every night to get comfortable, without laying on my back or on my stomach...my two favorite sleeping positions!  Most of all, I miss the anticipation...wondering what this baby boy would be like...who he would look like...what it would feel like to finally hold him in my arms.

And now, I miss the memories that we don't get to make.  I miss worrying about the next stage, and how we would adapt.  I miss wondering how in the world I would make time in my morning routine to feed solids...worrying about baby-proofing once he started moving around...how I would keep him entertained once he started having a mind of his own.  I miss the milestones that he didn't reach...crawling...walking...hearing him say mama or dada. 

Despite all that I miss (which is a lot), I am forever grateful.  Henry taught me to make time for what is important.  He taught me that a simple smile can change someone's day.  He taught me to appreciate what I have.  He taught me the importance of giving back and paying forward.  It amazes me every day how much I, and so many others, learned from our six month old son.