"I have laid my child in a surgeon's arms, I have slept upright in a hospital chair, I have listened to the beeping of machines and been thankful, I have smiled through tears, I have found strength when there wasn't any left. A Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
In some ways, I am grateful that Henry's battle was so short. Those almost two weeks were perhaps the longest two weeks of my life. We hardly slept, I hardly ate, the beeping of machines became simply background noise. We had so many doctors in and out every day, and the only moments I had to myself were in the restroom. Of course, I would have fought alongside Henry for months and years if I had gotten the chance. But watching your child suffer is the part of parenthood that no one warns you about. And this is true whether your child is suffering a stuffy nose, a broken heart, or a life-threatening illness. As parents, we want our children to be happy and healthy, and when we can't make that happen it breaks our hearts.
A mother's love truly is the fuel that helps me to go on. That love is what I lean on...knowing that my baby is happy and whole again...that he is not depending on machines to live...that he is not swollen because his organs are unable to do their jobs. I love Henry (and Brady) so very much that I can continue to live even though they are not here. The love I have for them (and that I know they have for me) gives me strength...and knowing that one day I will hold them again keeps me going.
To all those mamas out there who are fighting alongside their babies...whether their babies have a cold, a skinned knee, a heart condition, kidney disease, cancer, trouble with friends, trouble in school...and whether their babies are babies, or toddlers, or adults with children of their own...keep fighting. Your love is what truly protects those babies, and that love will give you strength.
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