Some Days

Some days are easier...some days are harder. Some days I feel content with my life as it is now...some days I feel restless and empty. Some days I love looking at baby clothes and dreaming...some days it makes my heart physically hurt just to walk by the baby section. Some days I wake up on the right side of the bed...some days I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Some days I feel motivated and successful at work...some days I wonder why they haven't fired me yet. Some days my students make me smile...some days they make me want to scream. 

Today is one of those days...restless and empty...a little bit harder, though certainly not one of my worst...I didn't necessarily wake up on the wrong side of the bed, but I didn't exactly wake up on the right side either (although that's perhaps because ALL three dogs decided they should snuggle mama this morning...pinning me in place.) I have to remind myself that days like this are normal...okay even. I don't always have to feel happy...ready to take on the world. Even before losing our babies I had days like today.

Instead of wallowing, I'm going to once again find positives to get me through the day. I get to see my dad and cousins today. We may not see each other often, but we always have fun when we do. In less than a week I will be on my way to see my sister in California, and will finish out spring break hanging with my pups at home. I will get meal planning and grocery list writing done, so we have food to eat and Tim will be taken care of while I'm gone. (Not that he can't take care of himself...I'm just trying to be helpful!) I'll catch up on some episodes of Weeds on Netflix, and maybe an episode or two of House of Cards. And I will enjoy the puppy snuggles I am currently getting...one on each side and one on my lap! So no, I may not be 100% happy, but I'm also not stuck in that deep dark hole. Nope...today I'm just a normal, average, everyday human.